so... sad.

i should be writing for an assignment that's due early tomorrow but i can't just get myself to write coherently because of the sad, sad thing that happened today. . .

this morning, we were tasked to have a stint on the screening of applicants by the HR department. i was excited as i knew i'd be taking on another challenge. they said it was just like monitoring except that it's done live and evaluation has to be made on the spot. i had never thought that it would be a sullen experience for me... listening to aspiring teachers and evaluating them were not easy--- i had to listen to every word that is uttered, pay attention to the right word stress, listen to critical sounds and discriminate every long and short vowel sounds that they produce. it was taxing! especially when you add the fact that you have to think of what spiel to give once you knew that they're not just fit to be part of the company and string words that are grammatically acceptable and not discouraging on their part at the same time...it was one heck of an experience especially when i turned down two applicants.these two are like your typical bright-eyed applicants who tried their best during the speaking test and who managed to keep their smiles when you gave the implied 'good riddance' .. seeing them leave the room really broke my heart, after all, what do i know about them? i just know that they had little background in teaching and that they do not have that language factor that we're looking for. that's it. they might have a family to support or studies to complete but because of the implied 'no,' they'd have to thnk of other alternatives to do so...

it's really saddening.. if i could only do something about it... we were told that there would be more screenings to be done in the future. despite a break in the monotony of monitoring, i don't feel excited anymore...