contemplate.. emo...

the last week was way too gloomy for me not only because of the H1NI scare here in the office but also because of the changes that transpired. another thing that bothered me was the low points that i got for my attendance on the first two quarters. i had a perfect attendance actually but my requests for shift adjustments were all demerited for. i used to think that i owe the company so much since they were so supportive when i was trying to slave myself through school. turned out that i was wrong. no need for utang na loob! also, i was affected by the recent turn of events in my friends' lives. no need to blab bout them since those aren't my stories...all i can say is that i feel sorry for everything that they had to go through...


all these events or changes really took a toll on me. i was even thinking that they were the real reasons why my flu resurfaced. hmmm, guess what actually happened was not a relapse but an episode of psychosomatic disorder! haha.. whatever it is though, i'm glad that they're starting to go to the remote parts of my brain! heheh.. really hope to forget about all the things that happened here in the office and every ache that my friends went through.


i guess i'm still a weakling. i haven't totally erased the the part of me that sees a flawed spot even on the happiest circumstance. i guess i really have to try more to create a better, stronger and more optimistic me..


these days, i've had the strong feeling of dropping everything off and living a carefree and worry-free life...i don't want this job anymore...seems like i'm not growing as an individual and my career's not advancing as well. the only thing that's been pushing me is the 13th month pay in december, hehe...


the last week was really a sullen one. i just wanted to confine myself at home and sulk in one corner but i realized then that that's no good for me...this just a phase, i hope, since i can't afford to quit work anytime soon. there are bills to pay and responsibilities to fulfill...i just hope that our superiors could find it in their hearts to give us leeway and to realize that we are not machines, therefore, we need rests and vacations. i also hope that they'd stop giving us jobs that aren't part of our job description. and lastly, i hope that in every job well done, we are given a pat on the back.


reality really bites. .. i know i've been through this same meandering road before. i hope i could find the way back and be happy once again...


**


buti na lang, i get to listen to some songs these days that really make my day. i love listening to Boys Over Flowers OST.. and also, i got an inspiration.. haha! can't get enough of Lee Min Ho! ;p

week-ender

i'm supposed to be monitoring for the set of calibrations that we're conducting starting next tuesday, but i decided to put it off til monday because of this obstinate cough and splitting headache that i'm still nursing... i fervently believe that i'm all well now but it seems like i'm not. i still suffer from occasional headache and slight fever which resurfaced last night...i can't help but think about what other people suspect--- that i might have the H1-whatevs in my system. if given the case, then so be it. in the first place, i won't be surprised since we are all open to the idea that the office's plagued with the said virus. some of the teachers were reported to be positive so everyone here's at risk...i just have to take care of my health then... however, it saddens me to think that all our loved ones are also at risk. another sad thing is that the management seem not to care.. they still encourage teachers to come to work even if they're sick, otherwise, they merit a memo. just how unkind is that! i'm really tired of all the policies. if only i have a choice, things would've been easier...

***

today's friday. supposedly, TGIF! but the atmosphere here in the office doesn't give that famous expression some justice. i've seen some of my co-workers today with sad look in their eyes...i feel for them. *sigh*

***

five minutes before shift's over. time seems like a drag.. can wait to see Lee Min Ho again....hmmm..now, i'm smiling ^^

flu and Go Jun Pyo

been so swamped with all the trainings here in the office and with all the writings that i did for the past two weeks. that could've been the reason why my immune system gave up and welcomed the influenza virus. hate to break it to you though but it's not the infamous "swine flu," hehe.. just the common flu and good thing that it just lasted for three days. the past three days were indeed the most agonizing days of my life as i got to experience bodyache, headache, sore throat, cough and fever all at the same time. i'm really not used to getting sick, but i guess that was my body's way of saying "cut me some slack." but then again, whole day of bed rest and regular intake of medicine are not exactly part of my dream vacation wish list. two days of paid incentive leave were also wasted because of that darn flu...

i still thank God though for the speedy recovery. i heard that flu could be a drag to most people. during that time, my tartie was not well too. actually, she's still not well because of some infection. she might need a week more to recover... i was so touched though because during those times that she still took care of me... im really lucky to have her...
also, what kept me happy and relieved during those agonizing times was the korean drama, "boys over flowers." i just love the story so much that i fell in love with every character. i particularly hold dear in my heart Lee Min Ho a.k.a Go Jun Pyu. not only i love his character but also his looks and suave moves. so now, i'd say "move over, rob pattinson. we're done. i got a new baby!" lol